February 7, 2025

While it might not be your go-to topic for a romantic dinner date, discussing your family banking strategy can have an impact on everything from your daily caffeine fix to your dreams of a blissful retirement.

And if your household is anything like mine (with my husband Tom), you might have drastically different money personalities to factor in.

If you haven’t tackled the Great Bank Account Debate yet, here are some pros and cons to help you find a system that works for you. And for a little real-life insight, I’ll share how Tom and I manage our finances—without losing our minds (or our wallets).

Things to Consider…

Before you choose how to handle your finances, reflect on these important factors:

Income gap: If one of you makes twice as much as the other, consider contributing proportionally to the household budget. Think of it this way: if one earns $80,000 and the other $40,000, a fair contribution might be 67/33 rather than 50/50. 

Financial baggage: If one of you has a significant amount of debt (and the other doesn’t), keeping some finances separate can be a savvy move. This way, you can protect your credit score and assets while managing shared expenses through a joint account.

Money personality: Does one of you meticulously track every cent while the other treats spending limits as mere suggestions? Agreeing on a percentage of income to pool for shared expenses, while maintaining separate accounts for personal spending, might be the key to peace in your household.

The Case for Joint Accounts…

Transparency and trust: One of the biggest perks of joint accounts is that they encourage open communication and build trust—no “stealth” spending on shoes or gadgets. Plus, they make tracking shared expenses, like rent, groceries, and utility bills, a breeze.

Simplified bill payments: With a joint account, you can dodge the back-and-forth of Venmo requests and keep household expenses streamlined.

Team spirit: For many couples, sharing a bank account symbolizes teamwork. You’re both all-in on shared goals, whether that’s a dream home, a family vacation, or retirement.

The Case for Separate Accounts…

Independence: Separate accounts give you a sense of financial freedom, which is great if you value personal spending autonomy or are bringing pre-existing assets or debts into the marriage.

Avoiding money drama: If you’ve ever argued about spending habits (e.g., “You spent how much on football tickets?”), separate accounts can be a lifesaver. Different priorities? No problem.

The Cross Family Case Study…

You might think that as two financial professionals, Tom and I would have identical money habits. Spoiler alert: we don’t. I’m a saver—picture me clutching every penny like it’s the last. Tom? He’s a natural at making life fun and memorable—generous gifts, spontaneous nights out, you name it.

So how do we make it work? With a hybrid approach that balances our strengths (and quirks):

The Hybrid Approach… to promote trust, transparency and easy estate planning (we are financial advisors after all 😊) all of our accounts are joint accounts, but we use two of them as separate accounts.

Joint account for shared expenses: We each contribute a portion of our paychecks to a joint account, which I manage to cover household bills and build emergency savings.

Tom’s account: Tom uses his joint account like his personal domain. Tom’s “family chef” status means weeknight dinners rival a holiday meal —whereas I’d be happy with a bowl of cereal.  So, he pays for groceries, dining out, and gift shopping. Oh, and his Fantasy Football league fees are covered here too.

Janel’s account: My joint account is where I stash funds for our bigger goals—like vacations, home projects, or kids’ birthday parties. As the planner in our relationship, this account is also where I budget my own discretionary spending.

Finding Your Balance

At the end of the day, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for marriage and money. Joint accounts, separate accounts, or a mix—whatever you choose, the key is finding a system that builds trust, supports your goals, and respects both partners’ needs.

If you’re having trouble sorting it all out, don’t worry—we’re here to help. Let’s create a personalized plan that makes sense for your relationship.